Muffy, we have an update on our Walrux coverage. It appears a local hero at the Super Bowl parade swung into action with the Walrux’s famous Walrus move!
Shooter…and his own family afoot… Our hero body slammed that turd to the ground!
He did not, however, have a kitchen sink to complete the move, sources say.
Breaking now, Muffybuff, we have news on an unbelievable event that has just occurred. We knew The Walrux had joked about fighting Puckerturd, but never did we imagine what has actually occurred!
Apparently, The Cruzer Brain of Texas was there, shortly after grilling the Puckerturd regarding his perpetuation of evil on the world. It was one hawley of a moment, I tell ya! Anyway, to our breaking story…
We’d all heard the rumors of an impending fight.
WalruX vs. Puckerturd was to be the battle to end all battles!
As we understand it, always one to love a good outing, the WalruX was happiest when he was bringing enlightenment through words or ingenuity. This, however, would bring humor and satisfaction to the American people, who were in great need of a rancorous laughing-until-you-pee moment! A cumulative one, if you will!
Smiling, with his usual twinkling eyes, the WalruX took a moment to look around at the crowd and wave, since they were so kindly chanting his name! As he did so, the WalruX started to see weird electronic items set up in the back of the room and his brain circuits kicked into gear. There were 18 large twots standing just off to the side of him, looking like a herd of hungry Piss Pissty’s after dropping out of the presidential race and not ONE sign that puny little Puckerturd had even tried to beef himself up for the fight instead of being a side dish.
Then BINGO!
Like a slapping in the face by Joe Kenda evidence, his SuperMind snapped it all into place!
This little Puckerturd wasn’t even going to try to beat him physically, IT WAS ALL A SETUP TO TRAP HIM, our WALRUX HERO, IN THE NERDAVERSE! A fate WORSE than death!
All that was heard was an “Oh, HELL no!” as the WalruX, with black panther-worthy pouncing prowess- did flop himself down with the weight of a mac daddy hammer and mashed that little nerd into oblivion!
The walls were vibrating with cheers as he galloped off, but he had yet another delight in mind…
Our Walrux stopped at the wall, yanked the sink loose, and returned to ground-pound it upon the pasty-faced nerd lying there flat, reminiscent of a used dollar tree condom.
WALRUX! WALRUX!
WALRUX! WALRUX!
WALRUX! WALRUX!
And this is why “everything but the kitchen sink” is flawed logic. Sometimes, it’s just what you need…..
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