I am fortunate to not have had to fight weight loss very often. I maxed out at 170lbs (5’4″) when pregnant and hit below 100 during rough times.

My body, nerves, stress and living the life moderated me at 120 to 125 from 7th grade to today at 56. I had a fat layer of protection provided by Coke until I hit my 20s and it accidentally fell off when I fell in love with coffee after a night of drinking! The glorious thing? No sugar needed, and a little milk in my system (milk repulses me as a drink). My mom, on the other hand, drank it daily and stayed healthy to 82 until an accident. After my coffee-found love, I stayed closer to the 120. Funny, one time I went to the doctor and the nurse said you weigh 148 as she weighed me, and Fitch, appalled, said no I don’t! I laughed and the nurse did, too. That worried me. I was carrying a quarter of another person and my bones and joints were not made for it. Fortunately,  tragedy struck and sucked it right out of me. I can easily go 3 days without eating when disturbed in various ways. My personal dilemma, I don’t mind admitting, is not having lovely, enticing boobs! I never cared, though, because it’s not relevant to my soul and my existence. Besides, the guys I’ve dated seemed well pleased with their loving!

I know a beautiful lady, full of life, humor, kindness; and the kind who will show up a thousand miles away if a tragedy strikes. She has proven it a million times. She also sings like an angel, was an 18 wheeler cross-country driver, trains drivers nationally for a great company now, and raised wonderful children. I watched her bring down the house in a bar singing “hanky panky” and it is a glorious memory! She’s blond, blue eyes, and the vibrance of Miss Kitty herself! The entirety of her adult life she was made to feel like she should weigh less, though she drew the stare of most men in a room without realizing it. Maybe a few extra pounds, but her frame designed it as such. I’ve seen her inner pain, sadness, hopelessness and it makes me want to kill something.. but what? I hate people who feel the need to gravitate towards ‘social’ or ‘norm’ views and make others aware they are not participating. Fortunately, my implied ‘abnormal’ behavior has always been speaking my mind well and very quickly to boot. I lost a best friend in 9th grade for harassing a girl who had a very bad facial complexion (caused by a family trait). Why in the Hell would anyone feel good about increasing her pain?

Why not, instead, being popular and funny, say hello to her and ask how her day is? She’s sitting two seats from you, asshole. No, you sit there and try to belittle her. Well, guess what? You are not immune, sir. I went on a three minute tirade of all his faults, out loud, laughing all the way. I never sat with nor conversed with him again. He’d turned my stomach.

Do you watch cruelty? Do you perpetuate it? Why? Do you need to feel better about you? Are you so miserable that you have to find others to belittle to feel better? How do you feel better? You’re still an asshole with the same issues and insecurities, and what you do to someone else won’t change that. Unfortunately, weak people often group together and try to make others miserable. It’s our society.

Please ponder what kindness, understanding, faith, and love you might spread instead. Or, if it’s the best you can do, throw out a crass joke, for fuck’s sake.