Well, I thought maybe I would be normal and head out to a bar tonight. I didn’t. I think the last time I did was in 2013 with my son LOL!

I also cannot remember when I last sat down and ate in public. I fear I’ve gone full recluse.

You may never come back from that, you know. The only next step is wretch. I was that for a bit, but I battled back. Then the world broke even worse. None of that had to do with romance, just all other factors.

To find new people and care is a burden. I’ve never factored that in before, but on the downside of 56 it’s just as easy not to. I battled to live to find a day I wanted to just live. I’m doing that well enough but dark days are ahead and I can’t change that.

So close to empty, what reserve I have and what I build needs to be stored. I’d think I was just lazy, but that’s not it. I think I’m just still stunned from it all. Five years of torture out of my control. Strong is a word that was always synonymous with me in those who knew me, but I’m puny, old, and tired. Five years aged me ten. I carry my burdens but I think for now that’s all I’ve got in me.

Thank you all so much for helping me laugh, get distracted, and always have great entertainment and knowledge at my fingertips. It glues back in one piece at a time.

And you showed me I’m not alone. Neither are you.

https://tatertwots.wpcomstaging.com/2024/03/08/you-are-not-alone-someone-cares-2/