You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?

I woke up sad today and this question made it worse. I wait for the other shoe to drop because it always does. 

Latest case. Becoming a grandma was the most amazing news I could have received! Right after Thanksgiving,  my Mom headed off on vacation with my sisters.  The baby was to be induced Dec 1.

Dec 1 arrives. I’m super excited, floating on air! Rare for me, though I try so hard and need very little to be grateful. I get an early call from my sister. My mom was injured and in the hospital.

I simultaneously waited all day to see if I would be a Grammy and if my Mom would live. No baby by night but I got word Mom was alive and out of surgery. I went to the hospital to visit the impending parents and didn’t say anything to my son and his wife.  My grandmother died 3 days after my sister was born and never saw the baby and my Mom never saw her Mom again.

My beautiful granddaughter was born Dec 2nd. December 3 we found out the new Mother has ALS. It is not curable.

My son lived 2 streets over from me, but he and his new family moved back to the East Coast for access to specialized medicine and research.  They had painted the most beautiful nursery together in their first home and now they’ve lost it. It’s still 2 streets over from me, sitting empty.

My mom is not the same and won’t be. I haven’t seen her since she left here for a vacation while awaiting the expansion of our crew. I stayed home to man the fort (and cats) and greet my angel.

I was helping care for my Mom, so I had been working part time from home. That ended, so now I’m alone, no family or friends here, can’t find a job and have not one person in this state or the 5 around it I could call for help. I struggle to stay on this planet every day because there’s a tiny new soul who will want me here. I love you, Miss Mary of Light…I will see you again!

So…. there you have it.