BREAKING TWOT NEWS:

For their own safety, we have asked our people to remain at a safe distance from the gathering but to record anything they can while hiding. 

The Karen of the Wood: Behind Frenemy Lines

Oh, the Karen of the Wood are in rare shape tonight! They’re all fully equipped with sweaters draped around their shoulders…with the sleeves tied ‘carelessly’ around their necks before ‘accidentally accentuating’ their cleavage. They must look active and vibrant, for sure. No matter it’s a dark night.  Mr. Karens like young-looking wives! No matter that he is short and works out incessantly to be ‘buff’. Besides, should they be so bold as to ask others to behave properly, they themselves must set an example of what is proper.

Perhaps even more creepy than Karen of the Wood in the first place was the sight to behold of their perfectly aligned, creepily lined up Twotmobiles. They were identical…right down to the same sticker on the same spot of their bumpers about the same middle school kids being on some team or the other. We did NOT get that close.

As you know, Biff, rumors have begun to swirl around the gatherings that have been occurring. It all seems to have started shortly after one of their members was accused of being an ignorant twot about a dude and a dog and was blasted all over the news.

That Karen went too far, they agree. She was exiled from the group for an entire week! No one wants to be Karen’d by Karens, they assure you! They partied the whole week to make her jealous. They even invited her husband for extra Karenization! It was rumored that The Fitch actually showed up to tell him to get that twOt in line! They further… wait for it… excluded her from the morning school procession of Karen kids as they arrive as the cool group they aren’t; each neatly arranged in their own mobile accommodations happily wasting gas. They appeared to be shouting war grunts out the windows as they passed us here, hiding in the bush. Exiled Karen’s twottlings felt the heat, for sure. That’s how they do it… no one is safe. Bam! You been Karen’d.

Hold on just a second, Biff. I am going to move up a bit closer for our viewers to see if I can get audio and better video of what in the hell is going on here.………………………

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!