A Modern Day Fairy Tale: Royalty and The United States

Woody Pecker (Prince Hairy) is supposed royalty. He married Shriek (Meg UnreMarkable). In the world of Tater Twots they shall hereby be deemed Shriek ‘n Woody of the Spare Pecker.

Here, he is a joke to the sane and fodder for the dense or those in need of some tie to something “great”. He married a Hollywood nasty, low grade star. She made me sick on “Suits” and I was happy she was leaving until I saw the Hell she was bringing instead. Here, we thought we would be rid of her self-indulgent existence of pity parties and thinking she’s a princess only to see her take it to a “special” level by marrying a prince and thinking she would be “special” enough to rock the entire lineage and customs of the royal family! Hey, you guys… I was on a tv show and stuff, so YOU bow to me. Yes, my papers on world affairs and inner human perspective haven’t been finished, but damn you, I will! Let me eat cake!

I have always pondered the fascination of people with royalty. Why would someone care? Wasn’t our country founded on the very principles for which they stand and represent? It is actually pretty pathetic in a Kardashian ass fascination sort of way.

Here’s a scenario that in the olden days would have been more likely. This red-headed prince, born after another who would be king, definitely would grow up with some resentment and anger. Remember Thor and Loki? Well, imagine your dumbass in your stupid little village plundering around when out of nowhere, resentful rides up on his pretty ass pony with guards surrounding him, as always making him feel so brave! He tells you to bring him food and drink, and when you do, he throws it to the ground and calls it shite. You start to say you’re so sorry, but just after you get the word sir out of your mouth, he clubs you in the head and you fall to the ground on top of the food you will go without tonight because you gave him your ration. He then rears his horse up on its back legs and when it lands, he targets your spine with the hooves. He rides off laughing with his crew and now you’re going to be hungry and possibly paralyzed.

THAT is how your Hollywood icons and silly royalty view you. If they view you.

What else could you do with your time and dollars?

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