I do not remember 5 very well but based on my OG, Convoy, trucker Dad’s favorite story of my 5 yr old self, I must have wanted to be a Fitch. At the grocery store, the rare time he was there, he was inexplicably delighted to see a cute little kid from class hide behind her mom’s skirt while pointing at me and yelling “It’s Ghhdg gkifffh!”! Name omitted, of course. He loved telling that story….
Flash forward a few years to 7 and I remember better. After verbal exchanges, I poked a girl 2.5 my size in the stomach with a long stick while saying “Hmmmm, plump!”. I also challenged her to meet me under a certain tree after school. She did not.
In my defense, I saw The Godfather, Death Race, Grizzly, and Jaws all in the theater when I was too young to do so! Friends with slack parents have been a gift since the dawn of time! Movies, too.