Now I Have to Buy the Damn Pillow

So far, I’ve been able to avoid buying the pillow that’s out of my price range made by, you guessed it, the My Pillow Guy.  I know his name, but we’ll just call him that for fun.  He’s on my ass 24/7 on TV wanting me to do it, luring me in to do it on the radio, and making me want that damn good night’s sleep, too.  Why should others be special?  But I never fell for it, though I know I could vastly benefit from it being in my life. 

I must admit, after inundated with him, his pillow, and the clips about his pivotal moment in Mexico I became immune to the greatness of it because it had been drilled in like words of a bad parent dooming its child to fail.  I wasn’t exactly fond of the borderline creepy clip with My Pillow Guy and his children’s pillow party.  Innocent, no doubt, but how could more than any one human fail to see it before it was broadcast anywhere?  But I digress.  That is not the point. 

Once immune as described above, I started to joke around with unnamed parties when the commercial was on.  There was talk of God finding this poor wretched soul about to die in Mexico and giving him the purpose of providing the best night’s sleep to everyone he possibly could.  It is a Godly message spreading joy.  That is what the pillow promises.  Still, even after seeing the creepy grandpa commercial referenced above and continuing my comedic relief from the inundation of it, I did not buy this pillow.

I have failed now to keep my strength. My comedic protective gear has failed to help me keep that pillow at bay.  I attribute it to not buying the damn pillow when I was first approached.  Regardless, I am still in the same situation…. I have to buy the damn pillow.

We have football players with the world at their feet being involved in dog fighting rings quickly right back to making the money.  We have elected officials who watched as violence took the lives of so many and still saying it was all OK, even after the fires and looting joined the violence.  It wasn’t a summer of love for everyone, I assure you.  We have an elected VP who made fun of criminals for begging for water because she had such a grueling job in the jail cell she wasn’t in.  Wait until you get to Hell and beg for a tampon, laughing hyena.  You incited violence and condoned it.  Be glad Trump did not.

Now everyone has ganged up on the My Pillow Guy and want to take away his ability to make a living for his family as well as those of or for all employees he reciprocates with funds.  Did he molest children?  No.  Did he molest any women?  Not that I’ve heard.  Did he storm the Capital and threaten to hurt people?  No.  What did he do?


You can freely find absolute crap on TV portraying positive conversations about animal sex (The Magicians), flagrant affairs outside marriage that are glorified (everywhere), and all the gay, trans, bi, throuple he/she/they/we/no one/all/whatever you want.  Nothing is not out there and nothing is sacred anymore.  That’s why people go after Chick Fil A for holding to its values, Goya for whatever some idiot chose to say, and now the My Pillow Guy.  In protest of this and all things generally being as they are, I will buy this pillow. I hope you will, too.

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